I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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