Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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