you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
