Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
well I can't set my house on fire every night
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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