Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
