Small penises have feelings too.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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