i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
