He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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