He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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