you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
