i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
