and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize