Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
