she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
This baby is an asshole
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.