Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.