Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.