please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.