You work out of a Hotel?
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
