Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.

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(214): View more from Texas

No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix

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(619): View more from California

Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..

(1-619): View more from California

I am not bailing you of of jail

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(360): View more from Washington

I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.

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(360): View more from Washington

thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking

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(682): View more from Texas

He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl

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(503): View more from Oregon

Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.

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(720): View more from Colorado

Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.

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