Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
