you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
