DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
