hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
