Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
