Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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