$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
