used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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