You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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