I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
