Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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