it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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