If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
