I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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