he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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