He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
