I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
