remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Randomize
