Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
