How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
