Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
