I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize