I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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