There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
