I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
