she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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