Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
