The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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