i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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