dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
