the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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