Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
