We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
