a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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