I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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