I bet he comes in French.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
