why didn't you poke me back
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
