she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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