sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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