I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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