there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
