I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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