i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
