Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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