i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
