I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
