How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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