i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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