no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
