My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize